Quasar V of Lleyn - Quasar V log 29th January 2008

Tuesday 29th January



TO DRINK OR NOT TO DRINK THAT IS THE QUESTION


Nothing much to report today so far. A quiet night first with the Twistle
and then with the engine on for several hours. The wind is back this morning
and afternoon and we are making just under 7 knots...occasionally 8 knots.
At noon we are at 12 12 N and 73 50W - still lagging behind but loving the
sail and beautiful weather.

Readers will no doubt be aware that Quasar is a dry ship. As we are now into
our sixth day at sea Bob and I have filed an application for Judicial Review
of this decision. My submission (Lori's) is based on a theory supported by a
learned colleague at the University of Exeter and I am currently making
enquiries as to his availability to give evidence should the presiding
Judges require his attendance in the Caribbean Sea.

The theory runs as follows: we all know that buffalo herd together and that
the fittest and healthiest animals run at the front and heart of the herd,
the weakest and oldest members at the rear and periphery. By the process of
natural selection the weakest members of the herd are picked off by
predators thereby ensuring the strength and survival of the fittest.

Everyone knows that alcohol kills brain cells but what some may fail to
understand is that the buffalo theory is directly applicable to the human
brain. By killing the less able and weak brain cells, alcohol, by the
process of natural selection, helps to keep the brain alert and sharp.
There is of course a long history of 'grog' being dispatched to the crew for
medicinal and character building purposes a custom I believe supported
whole-heartedly by Her Majesty's great navy. One wonders indeed what
injustices may befall the judiciary of this great nation without the benefit
of amber nectar to oil the wheels of the erudite legal mind. I understand
that my learned friend for the defence, JB, will be filing her submission
later this afternoon. By due process the matter will then be heard before
presiding Lord Justice Craig and Lord Justice Locke later today.
Unfortunately Lord Justice Dare is not on board to sit which is a shame as
although we haven't met in person I am of the opinion that he may have some
sympathy with my submission. I do so hope that the decision goes in our
favour as I fear for Bob's ability to cope, this application being his only
hope for relief before Panama. I will research the Appeal process just to be
on the safe side!

JB's submissions:

"Your Lordships, I would urge you to discard the submissions made by my
learned friend Ms Lori Evans and her somewhat overzealous junior counsel, Mr
Bob Maisey. One feeds the crew with mozzarella at lunch time - amongst a
plethora of other cheeses, I would add, such as parmesan, Philadelphia,
Roquefort, cheddar and so forth and so on, I mean I wouldn't wish for your
lordships to think that this crew are left wanting on this voyage - but I
digress (cough, cough) - what was I saying.mmmmmmm...oh yes, one feeds their
crew with mozzarella at lunch time and they clutch at this dubious theory as
their basis for this boat to no longer be a dry boat. Two words your
lordships, I give you two words, Buffalo Baloney!!!

Whilst I care little for this theory, if one just scratches the surface of
it, I mean gives it an iota of thought - I know, an inconvenience for your
lordships - but bear with me just one moment; lets revisit their submissions
briefly and indulge them just for one moment, they submit:

"we all know that buffalo herd together (blah blah blah) and
that the fittest and healthiest animals run at the front and heart of the
herd, the weakest and oldest members at the rear and periphery (blah blah
blah). By the process of natural selection the weakest members of the herd
are picked off by predators thereby ensuring the strength and survival of
the fittest. Everyone knows that alcohol kills brain cells but what some
may fail to understand is that the buffalo theory is directly applicable to
the human brain. By killing the less able and weak brain cells alcohol, by
the process of natural selection, helps to keep the brain alert and sharp"-
blah blah blah..

Madness I know, but they submit, alcohol kills the less able and weak brain
cells, the elderly of the herd as they fall behind and fall prey to
predators. Your lordships, I would invite you to consider your..(cough,
cough) the skippers' tenuous position in this regard for they are the oldest
on this boat, and may therefore be perceived as the weakest on board, and I
emphasis the word perceived as quite clearly (JB looks over her spectacles)
the skippers are clearly in robust health. It is therefore my submission
your lordships that this is nothing more..I say nothing more than a veiled
attempt at a mutiny for it is their intent to introduce alcohol on this boat
to allow the skippers, who they consider the weakest, oldest and less able,
to fall behind, to the back of the herd, to fall prey to predators. This
would be a mutiny the like we have not seen since Capt Blythe was cast
adrift from the good ship the Bounty.

I have two words for your lordships; self-preservation.

I appreciate that your lordships may have some element of sympathy for this
crew but they do not come to court with clean hands, yes indeed, they rather
think they are above the law having surreptitiously polluted various
desserts with rum and brandy on at least 3 occasions since leaving port. So
they are not good citizens your lordships, their application may appear to
be a proper application but it is preceded by their disdain and lack of
respect and regard for the law and their wanton wish for alcohol. I would
urge you not to be misled by their own misguided sincerity.

Let me leave your lordships with four words, "Mozzarella Maloney, Buffalo
Baloney". I have nothing more to say your lordships.oh apart from who's on
that ghastly 02.30 - 05.30 watch tonight...

The lordships have retired to their chambers for deliberation.

Returning to the sailing, the wind has finally backed to the north-east and
has crept up to 20 knots. We have reefed the sails and Quasar V is
ploughing through the waves in pursuit of the boats ahead cruising at up to
11 knots. She loves it but it's good to enjoy the same weather as the rest
of the ARC fleet. We felt a little left out on the SSB today when everyone
reported NE winds of 20 knots and we had 12 - 15 knots of SE's.

I'm trying to improve Roberto's music tastes and have introduced him to "The
Streets" - Original Pirate material..he demanded that it be switched off
immediately - I of course demurred!!!