Oceano - Log Day 13 - Just a perfect day

In my last log I mentioned, there is nothing worst for a sailor than no wind. Especially for a sailor during the regattas. Well, it happened today. The wind started to die just before the dawn, in the wee hours, and afterwards everything was just getting more and more silent. 5 knots, 4 knots, 3 knots, 2 knots…And then the world stopped, like someone shut the power off. It was clear that the sails will not be working this day. They were hanging loosely like fresh wash on a line. We’ve put them to rest. Drinking our coffee with moods dampening by the minute we decided that we can’t worry in such a scenery we’re in. Well, it wasn’t good news for the rally but after a few days of squalls we craved the warmth and it was looking like a holiday folder weather outside.

And it all turned out to be a blessing in disguise. We’ve made a disappointment into a gorgeous day. I am writing this words on the fly bridge, looking at the moon, enveloped in soft twilight after a hot day, sipping sparkling wine from a (real) champagne glass with ice cubes inside. I feel like a millionaire’s heiress and I wouldn’t switch for any five star suite anywhere.

I am in the middle of the Atlantic, the water is silky, warm and has the luster more beautiful than all the riches any Bezos can put on display. It is a perfect setting. Though it was a disastrous day to compete in the rally it was a great day just to feel alive. We sunbathed like mad, making the most of the art of doing nothing, we drank wine before noon, we’ve cooked ourselves a proper polish diner with cucumbers in cream ( mizeria ), mashed potatoes, chicken and tomato and onion salad. And then, by the end of the day, when the sun was ready to set and the sea was rolling under us slowly like a summer lake, we decided we need a pause. A pause from the race, a pause from being in motion, a pause from walking the solid ground.

German romantics came once with this concept of umheimlich, later rediscovered by psychoanalysis. It is a feeling of familiarity and strangeness at the same time, you feel like you know something but at the same time you feel like it is not what you think. Today the ocean was like this - unworldly, transformed into a golden, silvery plane of mirror waters caressing us gently, inviting us to just relax, chill, stretch, smile, get comfy.

We halted the boat, and with all precautions, of course, one after the other ( always remembering to keep some people on board) jumped into the ocean. It was golden hour in its prime and we were swimming, diving, frolicking and taking pictures. We laughed like little children, like baby dolphins having the fun of their life. Finally we weren’t on the outside looking in, we touched this bluest abyss with our bodies and hearts and it was gentle to us, it let us in.

When we were drying out on the sun deck, we had such great moods already that we decided to drink sparkling wine kept for special occasions. It was a special occasion, we were sure of it. We felt pure bliss.

And this is what crossing in Atlantic is about. Yes, we have no wind. Yes, it is going to be hard and frustrating to remain in the race. Yes, we wanted to be the best we can and impress our family and friends. But in the end it is all about this joy we felt today, nothing else matters. You can’t control the weather. In the end you can’t control anything. Only how you react, how you take it all in. And we are betting on joy. Regardless of the final outcome, of what is going to come of it tomorrow, we had this perfect day the sea. It showed us the ARC is not about competition. Well, not only. It is about being present, about daring to be in the moment, in the flow, like the sea is all the time.

I feel like we saw the gentlest core of the ocean today, sweet and soft like chocolate mouse. It feels like a win already, it feels worth it, so damn much. Oh, bad news have never brought us so much pleasure.

The stars are starting to appear in the sky and this is the most beautiful place I have ever written anything at. In the middle of the blue, with salty her, bubbles on the tongue, my face warm from the sun, my skin tan. When I will put the last dot here, the night time will start and we, happy losers, are at peace with the weather, ourselves and thankful for every second.


Karolina