Thula Thula.... I, Laura had been sold a package that consisted of driving up on the highway in the rental car meeting a safari vehicle to take us to a village to meet the Sangoma then viewing some elephants and finishing off with a gourmet lunch at The Thula Thula Lodge. Wellllllll...we drove awhile on the highway, then went off-road on the most potholed miserable excuse for a “road” anybody could experience in a silly little toy rental car. Mike from Chao Lay kept joking about the “car jacking” scenario ahead. Sure enough....we were diverted by a water truck telling us to avoid the mud (the mud WAS impressive!) so when we took the turn advised by the water truck driver there were men with machetes in the road ahead. Oy Vey! They were just local guys going to work in the cane field....but oh! Nobody needed that scenario. I knew I’d made a grievous mistake right then...I should have stayed on the boat! After flagging down a police 4x4 vehicle, and making inquiries as to how to arrive at Thula Thula, we followed his directions another 30 minutes and finally arrived at Thula Thula. Their power was out. I’ll chalk the misadventure up to the lack of electric to power computers to inform staff what was happening. Anyway we were shepherded onto a Land Rover with Muzi as our driver. Dieter, Ursula, Werner, From Christine, Josie from Niobe, Mike from Chao Lay, Lars, his sister Nancy, and I climbed up into a stretch Land Rover and set off......only to be mired in the mud at Gwala Gwala dam five minutes later. We had to climb out of the stuck jeep and Schlepp through the mud. I eyed the dam,( a big pond) with misgivings; knowing there were monster crocs known to hangout here. The passengers stood ankle deep in mud while our trusty guide rocked and rocketed the Landry free. Small consolation was the abundant bird life winging around us. Eventually, we waded back through the mud and all clambered in. Muzi gave us all some lemon verbena leaves to sniff and enjoy...little knowing we would soon need their healing properties; most folks tossed the leaves aside. We were much wetter and dirtier than at the beginning, but ok. We set off at warp speed, thorn trees whipping through the open sides of the Landrover, cutting skin, shredding shirts and pants. We learned fast to keep our heads well inside. It was a rollercoaster/drift race course. Bumping, sliding, spinning along the water covered “road” we saw many kinds of wild critters; At one point we were chased down by a ranger looking for Frankie Larsen, turns out we’d been misdirected and subsequently missed meeting the Sangoma, who was taking the afternoon off to do Christmas shopping in Town for her family. (I was NOT impressed by this bit of information...I mean, a Sangoma is supposed to be a spiritual person...not an idiot Christmas shopping when she was scheduled to work....I’m really happy we did NOT waste any time with her!) White Rhinos, wildebeests, impalas, kudus, nyalas, turtles, zebras galloped ahead of our speeding missile. We followed the stinking gross trail of the elephants for 40 minutes. Came up a curve and there was a huge bull a Giraffe! Wow! I mean....just Right there! Boom! Then we descended into a valley and straight into the Ellie herd. Talk about close encounters! One elephant walked right up to our landrover, put her head against the spare tire, lifted us off the ground about a foot, set us down, slid past the hood like.....”see, I’m in charge here” unfortunately one of our group let loose a high pitched wild laugh, and she turned and charged us! At that point I knew it was all over. Somehow, she stopped her charge, the guide pleaded with us to BE QUIET! And the elephant ambled off. Oy Vey! We drove down the road only to be greeted with a trumpeting male elephant! Muzi tossed him some mushroom bits, The Elephant eventually calmed down and we went to lunch. I was so happy to be in a building out of the landrover and away from animals! Lunch was lovely. Afterwards we bought the second book, ‘An Elephant in my kitchen.’ But the owner was taking a nap and unable to sign the books we purchased. We paid our bill, had a short slithering ride back to our car and finally made it back to the boat. Very happy to be alive with all parts intact!! Very happy to be DONE with animal safaris! Captain and his Sister and Niece can have them!
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