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Geronimo - blog

It is expected that the price of gummy bears will increase in the end of q4 based on the collective consumption of them (6 lbs over 4 days and 4 crew = 0.375 lbs gummy bears per person per day.  As such, we are out of these delectable night watch-friendly companions, and it is requested that a drone deliver an additional 12 lbs of gummy bears, marine grade obviously, from Colorado preferably, to the <direction> corner of section x-x in the atlantic on sat, november x to enable more effective night watches, the aforementioned issue representing the only true problem that cannot currently be solved by duct tape and prayer to poseidon.   If we can land man on the moon, and a gameshow host in the “huuuuge” oval office, surely this trivial request can be fulfilled.


Several fish have been taken in, prepared, and consumed, among them a blue fin tuna, a modest plethora of mahi, and an evil spirited wahoo named el guapo whose expression gave the impression “if you eat me, you will die like dogs.”  we aquieced like cautious amigos not willing to invoke ill will toward an otherwise healthy vessel.  one of the mahis was spared its life on account of its small length, akin to the width of two adult hands, or the width of four trump hands.


One battle of particular note occurred on 11-9-2016, wherebye a wiley mahi threatened to pull the ship backwards against a 20 knot following wind.  After convincing the helmsman to de-power, the great beast was hauled up to the gunwale, whereby an annonymous crew member, with a hybrid stabbing and 9-iron-like motion, attempted to hook the hunted with a gaff.  at that moment, the great beast, with renewed confidence for survival, smelled the sophomoric fishermen with whom he was fighting, and with van damm - like flexibility and speed managed to free himself from our grasp while wearing astonishingly tight jeans that were fitted way to high above the waist.    To add insult to injury, the escapee was estimated to be 86” +\- 50”.  Unfortunately, no objective evidence for this claim has been recorded.


Quizzo for the non-sailor:

the rum line is,

a: the captain’s term for a shoddy line drawn by a crew member on a chart without using a straight edge.

b: a straight line that connects the start and finish points of a race.

c: the queue that forms at the duty free stand at charlotte amalie airport several days after the fall rally.

d: all of the above.

e: none of the above.


Quote of the day:

After observing a crate of tomotoes slide viciously to and fro on account of a seemingly infinite broad reach in choppy seas, a crew member was heard to say, “[email protected]#$ these tomatoes.  i hate these f*****g tomatoes!”


Joke of the day:

“why do they only put 239 beans in a can of baked beans?  Adding one more would make them too farty.


The sailing has also been wicked fun.


Stay classy meow,

Geronimo the boat


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