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Neverland - Neverland leg 2 - Days 13 - 14

Day 13 – 14

If anyone has every wondered if it’s possible for a person to levitate I can confirm it absolutely is… after 24 hours of squalls, lying in a cabin in a three metre swell and confused sea. When we eventually reach land I intend on patenting ‘the sailor sleep suit’. It will revolutionise sleeping onboard and simply requires; a onesie, fitted sheep, copious amounts of Velcro and a friend to peel you off in the morning. The Dragons in the Den will love it.

Last night we all could have done with anything that would have kept us in a sleep-able position. Dad was flying most of the night (and not from his drug overdose), I decided lying on my stomach and wedging my arms under the bench cushion was the best way to ensure I didn’t end up under the saloon table. Anyone would be forgiven for thinking I was trying to perfect ‘the worm’ dance move while being tazored. Tom gave up trying to sleep (probably the most sensible action to take) and has been up on deck most of the night. So we’re all feeling pretty rank and those showers we should have had yesterday…well it doesn’t look like they are going to happen today. I know I said ‘a pirates life for me’ but I meant it literally and more in relation to the rum.

So I’m writing this 24 hours after the above and the good news is the sea state has abated and we are no longer being tossed around like a pancake. The bad news is the wind is back down to 8 knots but after the ‘excitement’ of the last 48 hours and given we all now desperately require a shower no one is complaining. It also means that we can put the fishing line back out. We haven’t caught anything since the Dorado. The meals that I made and rammed into the freezer before we left are now finished so it’s either fresh fish, pot noodles or tinned (pedigree chum) beef casserole.

It didn’t take long for Tom and Dad to get a bite. Excited at the prospect of a lovely tuna steak (I still have enough garlic, ginger, chilli and coriander to make a delicious marinade) the boys began frantically reeling in what we all thought from an initial glance was a small tuna. Hooorah. Upon closer inspection this ‘tuna’ had a rather large horn or spike sticking out it’s back. Whaaaaaat the hell is that? Ok so not a tuna. Dam. It looked more like a trigger fish, although none of us have ever seen a horny trigger fish so we can’t be certain. Come to think of it I’ve never seen any kind of horny fish. So, being as interested as I am in wildlife and now even more so with my new environmentalist hat on, I look forward to finding out what the horny fish was, why he’s so horny and if the size of his horn bears any significance to his masculinity or luck with the ladies.

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