There is a saying: 'do something each day that scares you'. Why would you want to do that, I have asked myself?
I had never even stepped on board a yacht until July 1st 2009 and yet here I am in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and 1150 miles into the ARC (plus having accrued 2,500 miles before setting sail on this tremendous voyage). Am I mad? My family thought so until I explained how well organised the ARC is and that there are 226 boats crossing this year, all of which set off together on November 22nd from Las Palmas to St. Lucia. Now they think what a wonderful adventure it is for me.
An adventure is certainly what it is; being out in the middle of the ocean with nothing on the horizon for days at a time is surreal and amazingly calming and peaceful, so wonderful to be away from the madding crowd. It reminds me, in some ways, of the mountain walks I used to take with my father in the Lake District, reaching the top of Helvellan, so high up you felt you could almost touch the clouds, the silence creating a mystical serenity.
I have been made Communications Officer and each day we tune into the SSB radio transmissions which start at 12:00 UTC. I found using SSB intimidating to start with, talking into a hand held microphone and using the nautical lingo - This is 110, Kittiwake, our position as of 12 UTC today was 20° 06' N 34° 37' W, Over; all very alien for me, but now I am getting used to it. It is wonderful to hear other human voices, sometimes quite distant, through the crackle of the radio waves, and to be a part of this small, temporary community - all of us experiencing similar daily occurrences, problems and joys, such as catching fish! It is also reassuring to know that although, most days, we don't see any other boats; they are there, just over the horizon. I also send in our co-ordinates as of 12 UTC each day via email to Cowes and receive daily weather reports from them - it is comforting to know that our families and friends are able to track our progress.
The night watches are a heightening experience. I had only done half a dozen before the ARC, (one of which was in thick fog!) so I was still quite apprehensive at the beginning of this journey - night watches for potentially 3 weeks! Up until last night I have always done the first shift, from 8pm-12am, when the sky is generally well lit by the moon and full of dazzling stars on a clear evening. Last night, however, we rotated shifts and I was woken for the 4:30 am watch. What a contrast; I found myself walking up into the cockpit and being surrounded by complete and utter darkness (the coal hole, as Tim likes to call it), a very eerie feeling at first. I took a deep breath and sat behind the helm, allowing myself some time to settle into my new, unfamiliar surroundings. As we surfed through the waves, however, I saw the magical phosphorescence in their wake, sparkling like jewels in the sheer darkness. Somehow all my fears dissipated at this beautiful sight and I enjoyed the blackness of the night in a way I never thought possible.
So back to that question: why would anyone want to do one thing each day that scares them? The answer, I have discovered, for me, is because being scared heightens your self-awareness, your consciousness, it brings out your vibrancy, makes you feel alive and helps you appreciate and make the most of life each day. Facing an adventure, a challenge (especially when secretly scared) whether minor or major and succeeding is the biggest thrill in life.
Rebekah Carlson, 30th November 2009