The Saoirse Diaries
Reflections from the cockpit in Las Palmas
We arrived in Las Palmas on October 11th after a relaxed sail I er from Lanzarote. We left Lanzarote around 4pm on the 10th and had Las Palmas in sight just as dawn was breaking. I don’t think I will ever tire of witnessing the break of dawn from the cockpit after an overnight passage. It really is my favourite time of day. That feeling that the whole world is still sleeping and that you alone are awake to witness such majesty. Such breathtaking beauty. Those golden moments of peace when you look at your kids little angelic faces still sleeping and your heart swells with love and gratitude. Of course with a 5 year old and an 18 month old, the peace and tranquility doesn’t last long. Pretty soon they are awake, to begin with quite cute, happy to see you and full of smiles and kisses and you can fool yourself just a while longer that life is a blissful bubble of love and beauty. However sooner or later, inevitably, world war 3 breaks out, with shouts of NOOOOO, MIIIINNNNE and MAAAMMMAAA, tell Óisin to stop, or alternatively out and out screaming from Óisin (He is nothing if not dramatic). If the rest of the world was not yet awake, they are now!!
So is life with small children whether you live on a boat or on land. The difference in our experience, is that living on board intensifies everything. The kids are with you 24/7 in a small space. No Kita, no escape from each other, and no other kids to play with (at least when passaging). So the fights are many and loud and intense. On the other hand, they realise pretty quickly that they have only each other to play with. So just when you are about to tear your hair out, or threaten to throw them both over board you turn around and they have found a compromise. They are playing happily together, laughing, kissing, cuddling fully appreciating each other. Each other’s best and closest friend and that feeling of love, gratitude and blessings return. Well at least for 5 minutes before the next Great Fight erupts.
Our daughter is a full in action human. From the moment she opens her eyes she launches into a full attack on our senses with her non stop questions and talking. This literally continues without a break until, usually mid-sentence, she finally closes her eyes and falls asleep at night. Rest is for her a dirty word. She is exuberant, smart and interested but requires considerable and more or less continuous stimulation. When she is occupied with something that is holding her attention she can be so engaged and engaging we swell with pride. When she is bored however she is a horror. Keeping her occupied and stimulated is a full time job. I think perhaps she, more so than any of us, will most benefit from the lessons that passaging can teach us about stillness, about simply slowing down and observing the world around us. About the value of afternoon naps, of taking your time over meals and of just watching the world go by.
Days at sea can be slow, sometimes you see nothing but sea for days on end. To begin with boredom can set in not just with the kids but for Wolf and I also. We are so conditioned in modern day life to be doing doing doing, when you have nothing to do you simply don’t know what to do with yourself. We have to relearn the art of being. That is probably the greatest lesson and the greatest blessing of this life we have chosen. After a while, you find your rhythm. You begin to slow down, your nervous system relaxes and you become more present in the present moment. You rejoice in the simple pleasures and perfect privilege of this life, watching the birds, keeping a look out for dolphins and whales, cloud gazing. You notice the changing colours in the water and the sky. You become an observer of life, nature and the beauty all around, and you breathe it in. Fill your soul with it.
I have been reflecting on that a lot lately as we prepare to set off on our longest passage yet. In three weeks we sail across the Atlantic. The Atlantic crossing will take approximately 3 weeks, although broken by a few days stop over in the Cape Verde islands. Aside from all the practical boat stuff that Wolf and I have on the to do list to prepare Saoirse for the crossing, my mind is occupied with dreaming up activities and games I think we could play on board during the long crossing to keep our oldest happy and occupied. When I am not thinking about that, I am thinking about what I will feed the kids on the crossing. Provisioning for all weathers. The days with a perfect 15 knot breeze from behind when you look forward to preparing and cooking for the whole crew, and the days when you are sailing through 30 knots of breeze from the side or on the nose, when many on board are feeling pretty wretched and the boat is permanently heeled over 45 degrees from the perpendicular. Those days I won’t be cooking up a storm. Those days I will most probably serve up crackers, dry bread or breakfast cereal.
As the days pass by so quickly here in Las Palmas and we begin to feel like we are finally making a proper dent in the ‘to do’ list. That we are finally almost finished with all the jobs and prep, I can feel the excitement building. This will be a challenge as it has all been so far, but it will also be one amazing adventure that we will journey on together as a family. I wonder if it will change us? It’s such a blank page when I try to project into the future and imagine how it may be. I believe even if you have already crossed the Atlantic many times it would remain a blank page because no doubt every crossing is different. What I can say is, the thought of it excites me, it ignites me with passion and enthusiasm and such a lust for life. Whatever the crossing may bring I know one thing for sure, it will be EPIC. So bring it all on, the tantrums and tears, the night shifts and lack of sleep, the glorious dawn breaking and sunsetting, the weather whatever it may bring and the 24/7 intensity of family life on board a small boat in the middle of a vast ocean. We, the Bee-Fenix family are ready and we can’t bloody wait!
By: Aisling Fenix
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