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Saoirse - Saoirse Diaries -6- Extended Family



We were at our crew dinner the other night, the crew dinner already, hard to believe. Everyone was talking about the fact there are only 6 more sleeps until D Day!! It was said by all with a mixture of disbelief, that it could have rolled around so quickly, slight panic when they thought of all the jobs that still needed doing, but mostly raw excitement. The sort that you can see in the eyes. The anticipation of the adventure of our lives.

That was already two days ago. As I write the countdown is now down to just 4 more sleeps. I have had a permanent low frequency ‘butterflies in my tummy’ feeling for about a week. They start to flutter ever more actively as the days pass and are prone to intense flights of fancy when I’m at a seminar or having a conversation with someone about what lies ahead and the excitement reaches crescendo.

Do you remember the last time you had such intense butterflies because you struggle to keep the excitement and anticipation pumping through your body under control? When I was a kid it used to happen all the time because when you are a kid everything is new and exciting isn’t it? Prior to making the decision to cast off and set sail it had been quite a while since I last felt it, such intense excitement, and exhilaration. It happens ever more since we have been living this cruising nomadic life which only serves to affirm our decision to uproot our lives and set sail.

That’s always an interesting question isn’t it? Why any of us are doing this. Something we spoke a lot about during the crew dinner. Why? why did you decide to set sail and why the ARC specifically? There were all sorts of reasons but one that everyone mentioned was ‘community’. Interesting don’t you think? That you set sail on your own to explore the get blue yonder and one of the reasons for doing so is community?

Modern living and all the advances in modern technology allow us to live very independently and independence is really prized in our Western society. Living on a boat demands that you can do things for yourself. Manage by yourself, because very often you have no other choice and knowing you can is empowering. However, we humans are social creatures and we crave company, we need it, it is essential for our mental health and I think in our modern culture it can be much harder to build close relationships and communities than it used to be because we all have our own washing machines and cars etc we don’t depend on each other as society once had to.

Living on a boat is extremely intense, particularly so when you are doing it with small children. When you meet other cruisers, especially those sailing with families there is an instant bond. When you talk about some of the ups and downs you can see in their faces they really GET IT. They have been there and have all had similar experiences, they see when you need help and Wolf and I have so often been over-whelmed by the support we have received from fellow cruisers. People we don’t know from Adam who are there to lend a hand and go beyond the pail to assist.

I read an interesting article the other day about a town in India where the women used always go to do their washing together. When all the households in the town got washing machines the women started to suffer from depression. The absence of that time spent together building bonds was detrimental. This story especially resonated with me because a few of the moms here on the family pontoon have been doing just that. Going all together to do the washing. After the kids are in bed, we head out with bags of dirty washing, a few bottles wine and some nibbles. We share stories and experiences and have created strong and fast friendships as a result. So much so that the other day when I was feeling particularly over tired and over whelmed trying to get some order in the boat in advance of my mum and aunt arriving one of the girls recognised it (even before Wolf did) and stepped in to take some of the burden off my shoulders. I was and remain so intensely grateful and touched it makes my eyes water each time I think of it. I was at tipping point and she caught me before I fell over the edge. That’s community and it’s alive and kicking vibrantly here on the family pontoon in Las Palmas.

This is the thing I will remember and cherish most about the weeks we have spent here. Everyone has been so busy, stressed and excited with a never ending to do list yet always available for a chat or a laugh. The friendships we have made and the community we are building are priceless and enrich our daily lives beyond measure. Today I wanted to pay tribute to that to say thank you to all who have enriched our experience and to say to all our fellow cruisers we are here to help if you need it. Whether that be someone to look after the kids for you whilst you get some jobs done, some tools you need to borrow, an ear to bitch to when the day has been too much or just someone to share a sundowner with at the end of the day.

Boat life is intense, empowering, humbling and vibrant but it never needs to be lonely.

by Aisling Fenix


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