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Webster - ARC EUROPE - A TALE OF (MIS) ADVENTURE MAY/JUNE 2014



We came to Tortola in the BVI
The ARC Europe looming tall
To Nanney Cay to prepare Webster
For Bermuda first port of call.

The crew comprised Charlie as Skip,
Treacle miners Dave and Neal,
Igor from Slovenia was last
to finalise the deal.

Fun and mischief on the cards
Skinny dipping with 'Neet from Arcarias
Young Johnny took some photographs
of someone's hairy arse.

To save said photos from the web
some money did discourse
Else wives at home may take a dim view
and ban us from future tours.

ARC flags they were a target fair
for when we'd drunk much beer
Treacle miners were in full cry
did make them disappear.

So from the start we led the pack
until faster boats found their gear
But only after Jos Van Dyke
did they leave us in their rear.

En route Igor went to top of mast
to rescue chute there stuck
and Charlie went down to the prop
to clear away some muck.

Bermuda came, three days on binge
my body was all a quiver
Felt we needed to leave this place
before more damage to my liver!

Azores next stop, we did set off
but the wind was on the nose
We'll be out here 'til food runs out
fuel and water too, I supposed.

So, crew eyeing Dave the chubby one
with meat enough to spare
so hope was not lost we'd have enough
indeed enough to share!

Then a gale it blew, 40 knots to be true
and waves as high as houses
Night did come and dark did hide
the stain within my trousers!

Sandwiches made by Chef Igor
Whole pot of mustard he did spread
Drew steam from every orifice
and not those in our head!

Soon, "Whales!", cried Neal with keen eye did spy
but no-one on deck to see
"And Scotland too?" we did enquire
in case he was taking the pee.

A 1-8-0 noon day target to beat
the maximum for darts deity
Not once but thrice we did achieve
the magic "One Hundred and Eighty"

Thirteen days and thirteen hours
it took to arrive at Horta
We decided then and quite rightly so
to go out on a snorter!

To Peter's bar we did retire
and twelve hours there did spend
The noise we made was quite enough
to drive others round the bend.

Igor and I Pico Mount did climb
Treacle Miners left on board
to do some jobs it was rather hoped
but most they did was snored! (Per Ballytrim)

Faial, Terceira, Sao Miguel,
Santa Maria we did cruise
But every stop we seemed to take
an excessive amount of booze!

Which helped on Terceira bull running in street
the things you do for fun
when bull decided to turn and charge
and Boy how we did run!

Poor Gary from Arcarius
with camera to his eye
took his mind clean off the raging bull
and was tossed high in the sky.

He came down hard landing in a heap
and in the midst of the fray
still took a great picture whilst lying there
of mad bull running away.

So leg to Lagos, final port of call
Atlantic circuit to complete
Hard to believe I've been gone a year
with this nothing can compete.

But we took our eye off the ball
with kite flying fast at night
Broached wildly over on our side
Gave all a very big fright.

Asleep down below within the bow
a full somersault I did make
whilst the pole on the foredeck came undone
and the end of it did break.

The boat laid out flat upon the waves
with kite hard to retrieve
but at last recovered all intact
and we had our reprieve.

So now into Lagos we do sail
in six and a half full days
the whole journey a great adventure
the memories all a haze.

My thanks to Dave, Igor and Neal
who have helped fulfill my dream
and all the time along the way
We have had an absolute scream!

So what to do next? I ask myself
Upon this I have no stance
Maybe to do it all over again?
But the wife says "No Bloody Chance"!

Hi Hooooo!!




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