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Bardeau - murder most foul



It was shortly before lunchtime... Mr Kennedy, not known for his cooking skills, decided to do a fray bentos animal pie spectacular for dinner with speciality of le bateau, dogs a la hot for lunch washed down by a fine chilled mateus rose.

It was then that it happened. The ship's up till then limp fishing rod suddenly became erect with the line taking off at 200 mph.

Aroused from his sleep pit by the commotion, C.Dundee sauntered up to the prom deck and reeled in a fairly sizeable Dorado bringing it onto the bathing platform area where I insisted he release the poor creature as we were all anticipating dogs for lunch. Put it back I instructed in the manner learned in the ship's training manual, Master and Commander.

The blighter, ignoring commands, called for a screwdriver. I asked if a drinks holder might have come loose ..... but no...harking back to original Ozzie roots he commented it was to terminate the dorado with extreme prejudice. Not on this boat you don't ! I called for some alcohol to pour down its gills to send it off happy fishy heaven. Dundee's moll, Genevieve handed me a nicely chilled rather tasty bottle of limoncella. Dundee roared 'jeez skip you can't waste that...i'll just cut it's head off.' No you won't I responded pouring the bottle over the fish. It seemed to go cross-eyed and went to fishy heaven. Dogs were cancelled and 20 minutes later the poor thing re-appeared on deck, this time on a plate.

Claretta, our on-board sail tweaker and mother to the skipper, bleated on about 'eat it Robert'...and 'why don't you eat the greens ...' I doused the whole concocted monstrosity in HP sauce and salad cream, pinched my nose and stopped the bleating.

Moments later Dundee, determined to become a serial killer puts the line in the water. Minutes later off it screams. Mr Kennedy in true Robert Shaw Jaws style grabs the rod and starts to reel in. It went slack.

Something very big with teeth had bitten thgrough the steel trace....at this rate we will be calling in to Verde land for new lures.

El illustrious skipper typing with one finger in the dark on deck




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