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Hot Stuff - The tales of nine - once upon an invention



 
We reached another milestone today; we have been at sea for a whole two weeks. Time has absolutely flown past and since Christmas Day came and went with 1000 miles to go, it feels like Hot Stuff is racing to the finish line.
We had a slow end to the week last week with four consecutive days of only about 8 - 11 knots of breeze. It feels like the less wind there is the harder we work. Spinnaker up, spinnaker down, spinnaker pack, up, down, pack, up, trim, down, pack - over and over - to keep our boat speed above 5 knots. Then yesterday we felt that familiar tug on the helm, that hum under our feet and she was off! Back up to 15-20 knots of breeze and Hot Stuff is flying.
The crew are unrecognisable from the day we set off. Everyone is helming, trimming, reefing, furling, setting the pole, working at the mast and in all weathers now. There have been a lot of fears faced, and challenging moments. But as we all agreed yesterday - you have to give some to get some - with the challenge comes achievement. Now we are pushing for 7-8 knots of boat speed night and day and it almost feels like we could do it with our eyes closed. A unique bond has formed amongst the crew and the boat now; We can all sleep soundly in our cabins with a 100% mutual trust that whoever is on deck will keep us moving safely in the right direction.
Following on from our Christmas cracker game on Saturday, where each watch had to present an invention that would help ease or enhance life at sea - we present to you our top 10 ideas. Southampton Boat Show ... take note!
1. The 'Gimbleloo' - need we say more!! Imagine the pleasure of going to the loo with two feet steady on the floor. No bracing necessary, yoga poses needed or risk of leg muscle strains in this fancy heads.
2. The physcic helm - it can read your thoughts and helm just like you even if you are busy sleeping, getting your hair done at Dawns spa, visiting the diminishing greengrocers or cooking up a masterpiece slap up bilge can meal. No need for battery powered autopilots anymore cruisers!
3. Cold pack pillows - as we get nearer to the Caribbean the temperatures are rising. This will keep you cool EVEN when down below feels like a sauna.
4. Rain catching wings gutter system - attach your wings to the side of your coach house roof. As it rains gutter the refreshing fresh water that funnels down small pipes straight to your galley.
5. Spiderman suction pads - be the first up your mast and impress fellow yachties. These pads will let you race up the mast in the dock or at sea and check your rigging without the risk of falling off. No more wedgies from uncomfortable bosons chairs ladies and gents!
6. Yacht force field - you can now sail without fear of propeller wraps, hitting containers and you will always have a crustacean free bottom. This force field pulses from your hull like a protective shield keeping you safe at sea.
7. Wind on demand - how many of us have been stuck in a wind hole, or fancied a little more speed. Tune into W.OD and order that puff your desire. It will enhance your hourly rate and get you there that bit faster.
8. Automatic bilge cleaner - Our least favourite boat chore: cleaning and checking the bilges. There are robotic hoovers, remote controlled grass cutters - how about a little automatic bilge cleaner?! No more bending over on all fours. Just press the button and a super duper deep clean will zap through your boat leaving the bilges the envy of all your friends.
9. Solar windows - the windows absorb the hot UV rays converting them into cool air which blasts through to the inside - keeping you chilled out below deck. And no diesel required!
10. Atmospheric hair removal - Most of us ladies have long hair and it seems to get everywhere. This invention means its vaporised and no longer stuck to just about every surface on-board.
- another invention has just been submitted which is just too good to miss off the list ... and it's also probably our favourite:
11. The flying fish converter - count your lucky fish. Forget stinky decks. This invention turns any fish that lands on deck during the night into your yummy dream dish. Jerk chicken, roast beef, thai curry, fillet steak - oh yes. As we run out of fresh food our mouths are watering while writing this.
Now your lovely nine maidens are off to clean the saloon ... then everyone on deck for a spa afternoon. If only we had some virtual masseurs, a hairdresser, pedicurist, manicurist .... then we would really be in heaven!
 
With love from your nine fair maidens.


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